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4. Ambush


They never fail to amaze me.

With a grotesque red dot painted dead center on their foreheads, exuding a grim solemnity, they unleash the hellish remarks that strip the soul bare,and hurl barbed,venomous glares like needles- their behavior is always beyond expectation.                

It is as if they all attended a crash course for eradicating the common sense and basic manner . Whatever I imagined, they topped it. The long line for signing the attendance sheet instantly dissolves into a free‑for‑all of cutting in from every angle, then dries up just as quickly. My borrowed pen lies discarded on the table, then was swarmed by dark hands , shared like a communal toy, disappeared into thin air. Once a packed box even flew above the conveyor and impaled itself on my collection trolley.

As though surviving the hell of work , which demands devouring others’ labor, they drain every ounce of others' effort with my own included. . Such is the chaos they bring from the daily life in India where lawlessness reigns.

“When kindness is repeated, people think it’s their right.”

My mentality crumbled like a stale biscuit. ‘Crunch.’  Through the cracks  seeps contempt born of discomfort.  'Petty people assume favors are entitlements. Keep your distance. If they come to you, bounce away. Treat them like invisible shadows—only then can you survive.'

I drew firm boundaries.  When the path crossed, I veered away. Even when spoken to, I kept silent. They tested my indifference—slipping cautious glances—but my cold silence gradually drove them off.  It was a relief, yet I felt ashamed of my own pettiness.

On second thought, their baffling actions were their problem.  but the way I viewed and reacted in anger was entirely mine.  Yet again, I was foolishly generalizing1.4 billion Indians from the actions of a few.  An error of hasty judgment and painful memories surfaced. 

'Nothing is what it seems.'  'You should not judge the whole forest by a few trees.'

On the other hand, compared to such hypocrites who cloak their cruelty in false goodwill, slip in among those trapped  in pain and desperation 'under the guise of kindness' in order to deceive, exploit, and profit from other, even destroy them, at least these people are honest and straightfoward. They rip the mask off and reveal the truth. 

I did not act my age. I had to change. To resolve this issue in the mature manner, I needed to change my mind set ; a true internal transformation.

Could this be what John the Baptist meant by “metanoia, a genuine change? Obviously, this is the task set by the fate which brought me here. How will I solve it? That is the problem.

This blog was originally written in Korean by Young Hwa Son and first published on Brunch, a Korean writing platform. The link is provided below.  https://brunch.co.kr/brunchbook/heavenwarehouse






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